Venturing into the arcane realms of Geriatric Fives may well be seen by the more level-headed exponents of our sport as something of a triumph of hope over experience, writes Bernard Atkinson.
However, the manifold enticements, ranging from self-immolation to utter loss of self respect, were so well packaged by the immaculate organizer of the event, David Bawtree – he who will not see 75 again – that no less than five pairs rose to the challenge. For the Masters, this represents a seriously large entry and for this reason alone every entrant’s name is recorded here; perhaps also lest some may not pass this way again!
The hopefuls, ranked in order of success from fifth to first as in all great TV ‘Celeb’ events, were Mcintyre & Maltby, Akerman & Gardner, Atkinson & Bawtree, Rice & Boag and the winners were… East & Wilkinson. Credit goes, of course, to the winners but what tales of derring-do were repeated and yet re-repeated that evening in nursing homes from Canterbury to Halifax and from Tiverton to Portsmouth.
If, by now, Dear Reader, you have convinced yourself that the Masters is a freak show put on to massage the egos of men too old for other fame, think again; such a misconception does not chime with the quality of the Fives on display nor with the effort and intensity with which the ten men endowed their efforts. There is a very serious message here, too; competitive sport at high level is not something to be abandoned at the first opportunity – in the case of Fives, the game and all that surrounds it is too precious for that and the elderly ‘hopefuls’ must continue to demonstrate that there is life after 65. In any case, when we are too old for real sport, there is always golf!
RESULTS
1st: East & Wilkinson
2nd: Rice & Boag
3rd: Atkinson & Bawtree
4th: Akerman & Gardner
5th: McIntyre & Maltby